Is This A Plausible Future Scenario? Again, space travel is coming, so whatever.

Which Specific Kind of Future Are We In? One that is very Michael Bay by way of David DeCoteau. What's Going On? Astronaut finds Britney Spears picture embossed on a Mars rock, creates Fortress of Britnitude by removing it from the ground, Space Britney dances in red rubber catsuit, Astronaut gives Space Britney the jewel from Titanic, she takes it, peaces out, he moonwalks, and scene. Who needs space eyeballs filled with KY Jelly when you have drama like this in real life?) Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - 'You Got Lucky' (Jackie was married at the time, and when his wife found out about Paula, she ran over him with her car. Jackie's girlfriend: a young Paula Abdul. Another fun story from it: Jackie's girlfriend showed up on day one and decided she wanted to choreograph the video, and 1984 was a year when you did not say no to a Jackson, even Jackie, so the director acquiesced. I would rather have seen their low-budget version of 9 1/2 Weeks than this parade of shitty costumes.ĭo We Want To Live In This Future? I want to live on this video shoot. It's a blown opportunity, really This should have been a sexy video set right here on Earth. What About The Song Lends It To A Futuristic Video? Nothing. Is This A Plausible Future Scenario? Interplanetary travel is not possible yet, but we're getting there, starting with whatever bunch of suicidal narcissists is taking that trip to Mars. Which Specific Kind of Future Are We In? One that is expressed through the mixed media of 'spooky masks' and 'gluing glitter on things.' What's Going On? The Jackson brothers arrive on Planet EgyptVegas, Randy gets an eye on his hand and goes on about his business without ever really addressing it, we run through the beats of 'Goddess,' the stage show from 'Showgirls,' and then breakdancing skeletons save Randy from the spider women and Michael Jackson's Madame Tussaud's wax figure makes a cameo because Michael couldn't be bothered to show up for the shoot. I guess Rick Springfield was upset about Intellivision and Kraftwerk.ĭo We Want To Live In This Future? A long nap with some hot '80s singles? Sign me up.

What About The Song Lends It To A Futuristic Video? The first line 'Everybody's talking to computers, they're all dancing to a drum machine,' written as it was in 1983-before the internet and EDM-is pretty prophetic.

Is This A Plausible Future Scenario? Cryogenic freezing to wait out nuclear destruction is being sold to a rich idiot in Beverly Hills right this second. We have six and half months to get here or we have failed Rick Springfield. Which Specific Kind of Future Are We In? 2016! A bold future of Dynasty hair, blinking lights that apparently do something, alien sax players and sharp triangles. But oops, Captain Springfield trips on a stair and Budget Heather Locklear pulls him into her cryo-chamber, where they can rest in each other's arms for eternity, or at least until the next group of little weirdos hits the giant, unguarded THAW button. What's Going On? Terrifying off-brand Ewoks discover some kind of bio-dome, accidentally press a giant green button while blindly feeling the wall because their rubber masks lack eye holes, unfreeze Rick Springfield and his crew of Solid Gold dancers, and everyone moves their limbs around a little until a Jenny Holzer radiation warning forces everyone back to cryo-sleep.

Roger troutman i want to be your man